Ignorance and non-caring...

She is coming even tough of stress and a lot of work with happiness home. Similar to the period before I figured out she was cheating on me. Does it happen again, after a short break and checking if things (or I) calm down...?

She talks a lot about work when she comes home but not really much about herself and more importantly "us". She does not see - or does not want to see - how sad I am actually and also is not caring enough to try to dig deeper and touch rock-bottom with me. I see this as ignorance.

Another example to show why I say "non caring" happened just a few minutes back. Last year I planted with my own hand new grass. Some spots did not get green and for the third time I am re-focusing on those areas. Last thing was now that I bought so called "grass pads" and put them there. I am watering them twice a day and hope that it will cover that soil in a few weeks with green grass.
Guess what she did on purpose: When I said please be careful there and don't put the kids wind-mills into that spot she scratched that surface with the stick - such as saying "I hear what you say but I don't care at all", I hit her with that stick on her pants. I should have not done that but why is she being so ignorant and provoking me in such a way?

Whenever I see her these days I see her with him together, how he is kissing her, holding her in his arms, how he undressed her in that hotel room, how he put his parts all over and in her. It's just so disgusting to realize that the person you loved spent her so cheaply with that guy.

The more I think and reflect and the level of current attention including absolutely no personal touching at intimate parts, and "sex - what is that?", the more I loose the interest in her.

It's just so difficult to manage all at the same time now: Kids, getting own business set up or find job, pay almost all bills (yes, household and fixed costs mainly paid by myself; she says sometimes she needs to pay now - but it stays with that statement only, no actions at all). Breaking up and managing also that on top of the shit I have plus my health issues are putting me on the edge of what I can digest at the moment.

What should I do?